I was helping one of my friends do an independent film shoot. We needed a grocery store for one of the locations. I called around and asked a few stores and they all said we could use the lot, but not shoot the building. So, we improvised. The church I attended was a fairly nondescript building, so we shot there. Only problem was, we needed a shopping cart. So my plan was, I go to the church, park my car, walk to the store, walk back with the cart and then walk it back after the shoot. Now when you walk in LA people look at you weird. I don't exactly know what the deal is, all I can tell you is that people just don't walk around in LA and if you do, you are most likely homeless. So I'm walking... I'm walking...I'm walking down to the store, and I'm surprised to see a family sitting on their porch. Again for some reason, this isn't done in LA. So, I smile, no response really and continue on. Once I got to the store and picked up the shopping cart I started to feel like a thief. Here I come walking to the store, don't even go in, take a cart, and leave. So, I'm walking back and I'm thinking, I hope those people are not on the front porch. I walk past and sure enough, they are there. So now I'm thinking how funny it must look to see me walk down and return with an empty cart. Not a huge deal, but kind of funny. The shoot happens, it is super hot and finally we wrap it up and it is time to go. Everyone is gone except me and the cart. So, now I have to walk it back. So I start my walk back, walking... walking.... would you believe there is another empty shopping cart! What are the odds, so random. So, I convince myself that I should take it back to the store. So, now I am pushing two carts back to the store, pushed together, but still awkward at best to push and steer. And who do I see, yes, the porch people. By this time they must be worried. I continue on my way feeling crazy for pushing two empty carts. Finally back to the store. Now by this time, I am hungry, hot, and tired. I knew that if I didn't eat something soon, I would start to feel sick. Not a problem since I was in a grocery store. Praise the Lord I remembered to grab my money. I saw the most delicious looking chicken tenders there ever were and bought them. Then I realized my hands were disgustingly dirty from touching who knows what on those carts. So, I get brilliant. I would buy a corn dog, eat it and then use the stick to eat my chicken strips. I don't normally eat corn dogs, but this was an emergency. So, feeling like a pig I go and stand in line to pay. My eye wonders to the devils playground and I see a nutrageous bar. I was missing my friend Jill and I knew that was her favorite candy bar, so I bought it. I don't know why i do it, I miss people and eat something they like. It is so bazaar. So, I start walking back with my plastic grocery bag full of junk. I'm eating the corn dog, finished that and now I have to use the bag to cover my hand as I spear the chicken with the stick. Mission accomplished, so now I am eating chicken on a stick walking back from stealing and returning two empty carts. I finish the chicken and think, yummm nutrageous, so I open it and take a bite. It had already started to melt a bit, but I wrapped it back up and put it back in the bag. Only, it was so good, I wanted some more, so I get it out again. Before I know it, I'm totally just eating the whole thing. Melting all over as it was, I managed to keep it pretty civil until the last bite. I got the wrapper all over my mouth. So, now I'm walking back with chocolate on my face. I cannot use my hands they are disgusting and I would have eaten a corn dog for nothing if I touch my face now. So, I think, the plastic bag is pretty clean on the inside. So, I turn it inside out making sure my trash doesn't spill out and I proceed to remove melted chocolate from my mouth with a crumpled plastic bag while walking the streets of LA. The whole situation struck me funny and I started to giggle... which turned into louder giggles... which turned into laughter as yes, you guessed it, I walked right past the porch dwellers. No doubt, by this time they had been convinced that I was a raging psychopath. I think I even saw one of them wrangle the children and start to move inside. I felt so dumb, I didn't know what to do, so I did the only thing I could do, the same as I had done all day. I smiled hello and kept walking, laughing all the way.
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