Time Change

At the end of every year I am amazed at the passage of time from one year to the next. It is this big celebration, a countdown for the last ten seconds and then a hooray of Happy New Year, only to be quite evident that time marches on. No blank slates appear, wrongs from the past year are not automatically righted, and our issues pass the threshold of time right along with us.

I remember those classes in high school were you watched the clock a little more than in some of the other classes. Whether it was a test and you wanted to see how much time was left to finish, or you were just so bored you couldn't possibly believe only ten minutes passed since your last glance at the clock. It was on one of these occasions I realized the difference in time pieces and how some marked the seconds with a staccato stop at each mark and some moved along like a slow continuous whirling dervish. There is no stop in time. Time was started and is off on a roll that none but the Almighty may alter.

Sure, we give ourselves a bit of importance by having a leap day to make up time or changing the hours to give us daylight when we want, but ultimately we are confined to time and that is how it rolls.

The fluid nature of time will certainly not respect the epicness of New Year's Eve celebrations whether Dick Clark, Guy Lombardo, or the now sobered up Germans celebrating with George Washington be present. It is that truth that is comforting and terrifying all the same. Comforting because there is simply nothing within our power to alter it, and terrifying because it is a runaway train we all are hopeless to catch.

Each year I have a hope, a desire for so many things to be different within the span of time known as the year. And yet, there are many occasions that nothing is much different at the end of the year. So many times I'm looking for the circumstances to change, only to realize that whether they change or not, the same person, me, is following them.

And so it is with the passing of 2014 that I find there are very few circumstances changed, and yet the person experiencing them, me again, has changed significantly. You may notice or not notice. And truthfully, I'd be surprised if anyone could notice yet because I'm still learning about what my new normal is.

My new normal is that though I have been a Christian for years, I am learning to love God. I know, let's get spiritual Stacy.  I promise, I'm not a wacko religious nut, one step a way from Tebowing at at the market when I find the perfect avocado. You see, this year has continued me on a journey to see just how precious I am to God. His word is His love letter that I need to read and re-read with that realization again and again.  I am amazed at the feeling of "He said that to me?!" And here is the best thing, I don't have to question His motive because by default, it is pure.

I think it is like Moses being able to see God's shadow, I couldn't possibly process a full on realization of the love of God. From songs, to experiences, to the written Word, it is a layering of Truth and understanding that will last until my dying breath when I will see Him with unveiled face and have the full realization, that should I experience it this side of heaven, would surely leave me catatonic.

Yet, there will be times when like Peter I see him.  I am walking on the water toward Him and then I see the crap load of chaos around me and start to focus on that and sink. Praise him for that hand to pull me up out of the water, whether it be His or that of His children here.

The best part, I don't believe it is any part of myself that makes me worthy or deserving of any of it. The most peaceful thing I have known is that I am not capable of doing anything to earn His favor and better yet, am not capable of doing anything to lose His favor. What? totally accepted despite performance, attitude, success, accomplishment, style, hair, makeup, ability, ....Yes! Completely without ability within myself to be any more or less than loved with His perfect love.

And the awesome thing is that it goes for you as well. I have met my share of people that drive me nuts. Jerk?, I am too. Hypocrite?, right here. Sinner?, present....what are you? So am I. This truthful assessment has helped me in wanting to minister in my imperfect state, the perfect love of God.

I have had the opportunity to give time and money to the Salvation Army, international giving organizations, my church, my family, and my work. And yet, there are times when I get prideful in giving to organizations or I miss the closer to home opportunities with family and friends. And here is the question I have been asked by the Spirit, "What do you have that was not given to you?" "When have you acted selfishly toward your family and friends?" And He says, what I have given, share, and what I have forgiven, forgive. Oh the daily practice of this that ends in failure all to often, and yet, when I obey, the blessings are multiplied.

There is too much to sum up a year of Truth from God in this post, but I am so excited that this year a new year has dawned, that the passing of one is not much noticeable, and that the unchangeable God is able to change me. For so long I have been believing that He is able to change anything and everything, and yet, wanting Him to change everything else but me. Now I am realizing that to allow Him to change me is the only change in which I have any control. My prayer is that whatever comes with the passing of time, I stay close to the one who transcends time, waiting for the "hour" when I will not have to mark time, either by staccato, or fluid motion.

© 2014 Stacy Rapp

Sacrifice of Praise

The meal has been cooked, the food has been eaten, the dishes are done, and I am very tired.  I wanted to write a bit about Thanksgiving and something I saw on Twitter today.  Twitter has really become a spot for advertising to continue round the clock.  I saw a quick video for someone promoting their Christmas movie.  They started by stating that this is a time to be happy, not grumpy, and that we should all watch their movie.  I don't really care about the movie, I'm not terribly offended for being sold to on Thanksgiving, I'm more disturbed with the notion that Thanksgiving and the act of giving thanks is often equated with happiness.

Can we be happy and thankful? Absolutely.  Is it a requirement? No.  Thankfulness and happiness are not mutually inclusive.  I've been thinking a lot today about people who have struggled with so much in the last year, in the last months, weeks, days.  Life does not take a holiday for holidays.  People still have struggles, people need to go to the hospital, relationships remain broken, needs remain unmet.  Loss can be so in the forefront of our lives, and yet, we give thanks.

I have been thinking about the European settlers and the "First Thanksgiving".  Half of the people who started out the journey were dead by the time the celebration happened.  Half! Look at the person next to you, they would be gone and you would be celebrating a feast of thankfulness without them.  Those present to celebrate were as every bit unsure of the future as they had been the year prior, probably looking around wondering if they'd all make it to the next year.  I don't know how "happy" the first Thanksgiving really was! Yes, I'll be spreading cheer during the Christmas season as well...you're welcome.

My point is not to be depressing.  It truly isn't.  My hope is to be in some way encouraging to those who may not find themselves happy this Thanksgiving.  To those who feel like they don't know how they made it through the last year, to those who may not have much hope for things to be different in the year to come, I say, give thanks in whatever emotion you find yourself at this moment.  Thankfulness is not an absence of loss or sorrow or trouble.  Thankfulness is a discipline and can happen simultaneously with gut wrenching, heart felt pleadings to God for our situations to be different, for health to be restored, or for understanding and healing in relationships.

Hebrews 13:15-16
¹⁵ Through Jesus, therefore, let us continually offer to God a sacrifice of praise—the fruit of lips that openly profess his name. ¹⁶ And do not forget to do good and to share with others, for with such sacrifices God is pleased.

There is a cost to sacrifice.  Something must die.  In the old testament, it was an animal, in the New Testament, it was Jesus Himself, the ultimate sacrifice.  In the sacrifice of praise, it is symbolically, ourselves.  To praise, to thank, we need to humble ourselves to the point we can say thank you.  We need to acknowledge we needed something, to acknowledge we received something we could not attain ourselves.  Or we need to be humble enough to say thank you even for the unfulfilled dreams or for losses.  I'm not always happy when I am humbled.  I'm usually happy when I get what I want.  I'll say thank you all day when I get what I want.  But when nothing seems to be going well, and everything you don't want seems to be showing up at your door, will you say thank you?  Will you sacrifice your desires, your anger, your sorrow even, and say thank you? 

What I want my struggling friends to get from this ridiculous Stacy post, is that it is okay if you don't have a Happy Thanksgiving...as long you have a Thanksgiving.  You don't have to clean up for this holiday, you don't have to put on the happy face pretending that you wouldn't change a thing in your life.  You don't need to complain or bemoan your existence either, I'm not advocating that.  I'm saying it is okay to honestly thank God while crying honest tears.  He already knows what is beneath the surface, don't pretend you are happy when you are not.  God is good all the time, the times are not always good.  In your own sacrifice of praise, you will be blessed for the obedience.   

Happy (or not) Thanksgiving to all!  

© 2014 Stacy Rapp

God's Not Dead Review

Six months plus after the release of God's Not Dead and I have finally had the chance to see it.  I have to say that I did not have high hopes for liking the film.  I heard much the same as I heard before I saw Fireproof or Courageous.  You know things such as, "For a christian film, it's really good."  Whenever I hear that qualifying statement that the encapsulation of story, characterization, acting, and production quality is good for a Christian movie, I just cringe.  I translate it as, well, it's still not going to be good, but it's not as bad as most of the ones you have seen already.

Great then! Let's watch it! So I did.  I wrote the following notes on my phone: Merger(pronunciation), Mina and the old lady are not believable as family, the premise itself would never happen - at least not without protest, reporter is cliche', parked in front of a handicap space, church scene in time of trial/hardship - cliche', pastor looks shady, forced the scene of the kid going into the sister's room(poltergeistesque), breakup scene is insane, car scene, glad they showed the Muslim father in sorrow also, sister is not believable and the relationship with the professor is forced, Dean Cane is one dimensional, what man says "freshen up".

I never thought God was dead, but I do believe that the integrity of Christian based story telling is.  To be fair, maybe not dead, but definitely in critical condition.  This film just isn't good.  I didn't want to have to come to that conclusion, but it is the only one I have.  The premise itself is not believable.  The purpose of a philosophy class is to discuss the questions such as the purpose of life, how we got here, the nature of the universe, etc.  While there are some really jerky, condescending, intellectually snobbish professors, part of their job is to discuss with students the questions they have about this world.  No chemistry professor would ban the periodic table from discussion.  This question of intelligent design, metaphysical vs. physical, etc. are the elements that make up the periodic table of philosophy.  The premise is forced.  If the character of the professor were a real person, he wouldn't be teaching in any institution of higher learning worthy of charging a dollar for tuition.

Throughout the entire film the characterization is weak and one dimensional.  The main character is good, the girlfriend is selfish, the pastor is struggling to find purpose, the reporter is jaded, the businessman is a jerk, the professor is condescending and angry.  We get it! But what of the character arc for each actor.  Evey scene, forced relationship, plot twist, and piece of dialogue was only there to get us to the end of the movie, which surprise, ends in the "put that in your pipe and smoke it" ending where every question ever raised against the Christian belief is somehow answered, and everyone's eyes are opened.  Praise be! The blind will see.  All this done while a montage, complete with a very long and unnecessary music video that justifies the presence of the Newsboys as headliners, plays out to wrap things up. Perhaps what can best summarize the characterization failings is that I only found the car rental guy to be believable as  person I would meet in real life.  He is in two or three scenes and was a refreshing presence.   In the breakup scene in which the reporter tells the jerky businessman she has cancer, he gets mad because he just told her he made partner, and breaks up with her at the table.  All the people I was watching the movie with laughed because even though there are people that are selfish, and would break up with someone when they are sick, it most often would not be done that quickly.  No, beat, no inward struggle, no dialogue to pull it out, just well this is great, sorry you are sick, but I'm awesome and you are killing my mojo! For the sake of moving the story along, the writers chose to condense this to one scene and make it awkward to the point of being funny.  Whenever you laugh at horrible news you know there is a massive disconnect. 

This brings me to the execution of the characterization.  Acting with an agenda in mind is most often, if not always, detrimental to the art of acting.  Even people who play evil characters need to find some sort of reason to make them say their lines and do what they do.  The actor needs to understand the character.  When you can tell the characters who are meant to be evil are still being played by actors that want to help prove the point of the entire film instead of portray a character honestly, the whole thing will crumble like Milli Vanilli in a power outage.  Even in Christian films the women's characters are given to beautiful women with less than stellar acting chops.  Stop this! Watch British films, real actors, some gorgeous, some not, play characters that are believable.  Hire good actors! And more that that, give the good actors, good lines and storylines.

The writers, producers, directors, actors, anyone who read the screenplay, saw the dailies, delivered food to the set, there are so many places this film could have been salvaged.  Why are you wasting time with the Newsboys when you have characters to develop?  Stop the save the world with one movie mentality.  Make a really great movie about good characterization, acted out in a believable manner.  Real everyday struggles and how we deal with them.  Difficulties that don't always go away even when you believe in Jesus, these are the types of things that will get people to pay attention.  And the reason is because we can believe that kind of story.  We don't need to see the world's problems solved and wrapped up in a bow by the end of the film.  When we want that, we'll go watch Full House. 

People are by nature and design very complicated. If we want Christians and non Christians alike to relate to the movies we want them to see, we need to be real!
So, put that in your pipe and smoke it, or don't.  But for the love of all, if you do, please portray it honestly and with integrity of storytelling. 

Delayed Response

While I understand that fundamentalist Christians can sometimes speak truth with all the grace of an atomic bomb, I do not understand the anger at a belief founded in centuries old traditions, whose tenants are well known.  It is understood that most Christians will interpret the bible certain ways.  To say these are all right is not the issue.  Right is right outside of anyone who believes it or disagrees with it.  Truth is truth, whether treated like a lie or not and conversely, lies do not become true just because you believe it. 

The issue is that if we are to have freedom to believe something is wrong and another has the freedom to believe something is right, can’t we understand that the context, settings, and audience of the conversations will evoke a certain response. 

Being angry that many Christians believe a certain way about biblical principles is like serving lobster bisque and pork chops at a Jewish wedding and wondering why the guests might be upset.  Though a few may not have an issue with it, most would.     

To be angry that a historically bible based service organization strayed from the common understandings of biblical interpretations is a natural response founded in logic.  People sign up to support an organization that aligns with their beliefs.  When the organization makes changes to a policy and no longer agrees with the original understanding, they have broken trust, and changed the agreement.   

Now, to those who thought this decision was a good one, and were excited and encouraged about it, I feel sorry that you were yanked around a bit this week.  I would like to say, that the people on the opposite side, feel the same way.  The biggest tragedy of World Vision’s statements this last week is that no one can trust the organization now.  If you believe in something, stand for it and own it.