Praying, Obeying, Seeing

Today I watched a young man with a heavy heart wait for his tax meeting. Moments before, my boss told me his mother was battling cancer and taking a turn for the worse. While he told me of that, he showed me a post it note with the names of about six people he prays for, all who have cancer. The list would be longer, but some have passed away.

Tonight I went to a prayer meeting and the list of requests had many battling cancer. One woman with small children, some with oral cancers, some with bone cancers, everywhere I looked I saw the word cancer. There were other requests, but each one was important to the person going through the issue and each person praying for a favorable outcome.

And why can't it be a good outcome? Why can't we pray for people to be healed of cancer, or for that program to be a success, the baby to be a boy, the dream job to be realized, etc. and know that whatever we ask will be given?

I know enough to know that anything I think is a disagreement in the Bible has to do with my understanding of it, and not the Bible itself. Some point to verses saying that whatever you ask in my name will be done, and so we say "in Jesus name amen"so as to ensure we get our request. Not just once, by using His name, but twice, by saying amen, or so be it. I have done this countless times and yet many things I have asked for have not been granted, or things I wish were different were not taken away. I reduce the creator of the universe to a politician that can be lobbied and bought with flattery or to a fairy to be appeased by saying a magic phrase, and then I get my prize or my wish.

Some put the burden of answered prayer to the amount of faith of the one doing the praying.  Isn't that misplaced hope.  Isn't our hope to be in the One to whom we pray and not in the words we use, the amount of time we take, or in how "good" we've been leading up to the prayer.  Don't we often act like children quickly cleaning up the room, doing the dishes, studying a little longer so that the request we give our Father can only be answered with yes.  Stacking the deck doesn't work with God and yet we can sometimes get this notion from our spiritual leaders, if not expressly said, than in all other ways implied.  Your sin is keeping you from your answered prayer, your inaction is keeping you from your answered prayer.  So, we get right, we take action, and our prayer is still unanswered.

Or is it?  No, is an answer.  I know people say, God answers with a yes, a no, and a maybe, or wait.  In the moment though, don't we really just need a yes or no.  And when no happens, we shake the magic 8 ball again and ask again, knowing that the odds are that eventually, you hit jackpot.  But each time before the payout, the answer was no.

God is not a machine to be watched, a game of chance to be wagered, or someone who can be annoyed into giving us something just so we shut up.  But the story of the the unjust judge, he came to the door so the woman would leave.  Right, he did.  And God is always at the door hoping we come by to spend time with Him.  The table is set, the drink is poured, and the fire is roaring, just waiting for us to visit with Him.  We can ask for soda, but maybe He is only serving wine.  We will be fed and given drink, and that need will be met, but not always how we want it to be done.  And that is where my expectation can fly in the face of His provision.  I say you didn't answer my prayer.  He says, yes I did, you just didn't want the answer I had to give you.  

It is easy to think, why am I praying if nothing is happening, my answer is no, there is not a difference in my life.  Pray because we are commanded to.  Pray because it is more about communicating with the Creator of all life than it is about what I /you want.  Pray because in the most gut wrenching moments of anger, and tears, and disappointment, the sweet, unexplainable peace of God can fill every gaping wound.  Tears will still flow, your heart will still ache, but He holds it all and you begin to realize, some of those tears are His.  He enters it with us.  There is no distance between what is happening to me, and what He is feeling.  What an amazing God, I wish I could see Him in the no's more often.  Regardless of my ability to see Him in those times,  He is always the God who sees me. 

Equator Bound

In September I will be a part of a team going to Kenya to live life for a few days with the workers and children at an orphanage there.  I am sure there are things that I will experience that no picture or story from another person could prepare me enough not to be completely overwhelmed by the experience.  I am very much looking forward to it.  God has worked to bring about the opportunity, and I am loving watching Him work already.

The other day I went to the globe in the front office and spun it around to Kenya, I wanted to look at it, think about it, take it in.  I was annoyed because the line of the equator on this globe is so big it covers names of countries and cities.  Then it hit me.  This country is on the equator! How did I miss that, why did I sign up for this, and who can I commission to make air conditioned clothing happen?

Clearly hyperbole rises again, but I didn't know it was an equatorial nation.  I am amazed again at the change only the Spirit of God can bring about in a person.  Never have I ever wanted to go near the equator...until now.  God has been preparing me not just since I've decided to go, but before then.  Whether it is having VBS be on the hottest days of the year or getting healthy so that I am able to handle heat better, all of it is working together.  He is the champion tetris player.  I am one piece, and He is making my piece fit with what He is doing over there, and that is so unbelievably awesome.  Not way cool awesome, awe inspiring - awesome.