Settle This Like Men

With all of the back and forth and purchased airtime for propaganda, I think we have lost sight of what is truly important in this election. What are the values of the American people? What do we spend our time on, give our attentions to, and where do we spend our money? We don't care about social issues, human rights, or constitutional integrity, no, we care about rhythm! Ella was right, vote for Mr. Rhythm. So, I am proposing the election be settled in a new way, the change we really need. We should just have a Great American Dance Off For The Presidency! Where the feet do the talking and hips don't lie. Yes ladies and gentlemen, each candidate will have 90 seconds to perform an interpretive dance to the soundtrack of their choosing. It should be a narrative of the state they see the nation in today. There will be a follow up round comprised of a two minute contemporary piece from each candidate that is to be the proposed changes they feel would correct our troubled world. To spice things up, the running mate for each candidate will provide the soundtrack for this round. All forms of musical instrumentation are acceptable and encouraged. There will be extra points if they can tastefully incorporate a didgeridoo. This will show adequate foreign policy experience and tactfullnes. After both candidates have completed, the phone lines will be opened for two hours and you can vote as many times as you'd like for the one you want to keep in the running. The votes will tabulated by an outsourced company in Bombay. The following week, we will tune in to see who is the next President. The losing candidate will say goodbye with a reprise of his first piece. No voter registration worries here! And best of all, no Ryan Seacrest. The world is looking to be a better place already!