Channel Surfing Gone Awry

The other day I was flipping through the channels to see if anything was worth watching. As I flipped through I saw a promo or a clip of yet another reality relationship game show. It was for Paris Hilton’s BFF. There are so many things about this that makes me sad. Firstly, there is no solace known to man at this time that is completely void of Paris Hilton. Why? I have no idea. She is this decade’s version of Kato Kaelin and Jenny Jones. They are everywhere, say nothing of importance, and they have celebrity status. That word means nothing anymore.

Perhaps even more disturbing than she are those who are competing to be her BFF. You are on a game show to be friends with a girl who publicly trashed her true life, long time, best friend, and you want to be the replacement? There are other ways to get into show business.

I am not sure if the producers were aware, but the last F is supposed to be forever. The notion of having a sequel to a”forever” is fundamentally unacceptable. Where is the first winner of the forever friend position? No one knows and this year, no one cares.

Needless to say I did not watch. I think I probably watched travel shows or even PCN tours learning how they make reproduction furniture in Lititz. That is interesting, not socialite speech peppered with blackberry abbreviations.

IDK, maybe I am more upset with the fact that a show like that is on the air and they took away Pushing Daisies or that I’m hardly ever home to watch 30 Rock.! Truthfully I’ve never forgiven the networks for pulling American Dreams back in 2005 and as sure as all get out, I will never forgive them for ending Family Ties! Alex could be president by now dealing with his opposing parents as lobbyist for clean air initiatives, while Jennifer becomes the first platinum blonde Supreme Court justice, Mallory designs fashion wear for the space program, and Andy lives in a van in the dessert of Utah studying newts.

But alas, all good things must come to an end. I only wish these inane game shows would disappear. Oh, and I also wish for world peace.

Vacation Observation

Last week I was on my summer vacation. I was with the family and we did a lot of fun things. I was able to explore the community where we stayed and it was just beautiful. There were houses surrounding the lake, playgrounds, camp sites, beaches, pools, and wild deer so tame you could get within two feet of them. It seems impossible it is all over. I’ve spent so much time looking forward to it and it goes by so quickly.

In some ways I am glad to be back and getting into “normal” life again. For one thing, the temptation of copious amount of sweets will be no more. And I have plans to visit soon with a few friends I haven’t seen in quite some time.

I wanted to share something I observed while at the pool one day. Thursday we decided to go to the pool. Earlier in the week we had gone to the lake and even though it is beautiful and the beach was nice, I do not like swimming in the lake. Give me chlorine so strong it could kill a legion of aquatic wild life and I am a happy girl.

The fact that we had agreed on the pool made me happy to be able to swim. I will never be an Olympic swimmer, I don’t really know how to swim, but I move my arms and my legs and I stay afloat and get to where I want to go, to me, that is all I need. And no, it is not a dog paddle.

This is probably the first time since I was ten I did not imagine a shark coming to get me as I swam. Yes I realize sharks do not live in pools. However, after seeing a James Bond movie when I was young where an evil maniac releases a shark into a pool where 007 was swimming, I have envisioned this scene while swimming in pools. Fear is not always rational, so back up off me.

It was a good time with sisters and nieces as the boys were out fishing. Mom and Nana were even there on the lawn chairs in the shade, just enjoying the day.

I got out of the pool to get ready to leave and sat on my towel to people watch. I was next to my mother in her chair and we both saw the same thing. A man who looked to be in his seventies came walking up to the deep end. He was walking slowly, using a cane as he went. I watched him because I was a bit concerned for his safety. He was dressed for swimming, but still, it can be slippery near a pool and I just was hoping he would not fall around the edge of the pool. After what seemed to be forever, he got near enough and with one fluid and uncharacteristic swift motion he pushed his cane to the side and pushed off the ground to launch into the pool for a swim.

I turned to Mom and asked if she had seen what I saw. She said yes. I said that is the coolest thing I’ve ever seen. That would be a way better commercial for Nestea than anything I’ve ever seen them come up with for an idea.

There are so many areas of life where I could apply this word picture. I should not be afraid of change, I should not hold on to things I think will help me but only make the transition awkward. I should never act as though I’m old although the time will come I am sure when I will not be able to move as I once could. That is just the beginning of all the things. I’m sure you have some of your own. I’m just sad for you that you were not there to see it.

Next time you are in an opportunity to people watch. Look for the little kids and the elderly. In my experience, they have taught me much more than the middle aged crowd. Perhaps I am too close to the middle age bracket I cannot fully appreciate it at this time. But who knows, some day I may be creeping toward the edge of a pool wondering why young people have become so voyeuristic.

And I Quote "______"

Disclaimer: Some of this is repeat, but I'm going through saved drafts and thought I would share the original.



If you spend any time with me or any of my siblings you will come to find out that we have a sickness. We remember and frequently quote lines from movies, shows, songs, conversations, etc., etc.



We are storehouses of useless information and during a game of 90's Trivial Persuit, the dvd edition, my dad said he didn't know if he should be proud or disappointed. I have asked myself the same question many times. If only Jeopardy questions were about Friends, Full House, and Bon Jovi lyrics, I'd be worth millions right now.



My entire family can converse for nearly a half an hour and not actually speak to each other. One person will say, "Are you sure nobodys follow us?" and it is all over. We go from one scene to the next and retell The Princess Bride interchanging characters at whim. We really have quite a dizzying intellect. And if someone would say the phrase mostly anything, then it's on. Poor people who don't know and love the movie the way we do must hate us. And the sad things is we don't really care, it is a compulsion to finish the interplay. There is no prescription or 12 step program strong enough. Of course if it had a chocolate coating to make it go down easier, I'd be willing to give it a try.



Even more confusing to people is when we quote each other. There have been many times something has been said that is just so funny to us and we never let it die. A few years ago my mom was talking to my dad and said "son" at the end. As if she were a teenage skater boy. We laughed so hard, we couldn't even believe she had heard that to use it in context with the correct intonation and everything. So funny, so we remind her and she hates it, but we love that it happened.



Of course there are the things from childhood that you cannot get rid of and one such phrase is "Smell the honeysuckle". My mom would take us to the library when we were young. She would pile us in, tell us to behave, and we'd be off to the Howard County library for books. The parking lot had so many honeysucle bushes that in the spring and summer every time we would get out of the car she would say smell the honeysuckle in a high elated tone. Then when we'd come out to go to the car the same thing. Or if we'd be driving anywhere, and pass honesuckle, she would say, "smell the honesuckle" in the same tone. The excitement and contentment never wavered, always thankful for the smell, a sweet burst of heavenly sent wonderfullness. On occasion one of us will just say it out of nowhere. We all giggle because it is so funny to us, not really sure why, but it is. Sometimes I think my mom thinks we are making fun of her. And it isn't really. We tease her, but I know each one of my siblings loves that memory. We love the sing song way it sticks in our heads and we will never forget it. The last few weeks there has been honeysuckle in bloom along the highway I take home. I say to myself in the car, smell the honeysuckle in the same way my mom did. And if God ever grants me the blessing of having children of my own I hope to pass that on to them. A simple phrase that packs a wallop of imagery and memories.

Dream or Swinemare?

Last night I had a dream.  No this is not the lines from the oldies song.  I had a dream.  It was really weird and I have to tell you all about it.  You all being about seven people, but at least this is a slightly more modernized version of a mass email.  So here it is.  As written to my sister in an email earlier today:

I had a dream that I was at a pig roast, then when I had my food on my

plate it was a whole fetal pig, like we dissected in biology with Mrs.

Leffel.

I squeezed its nose to try to find out if it would come off and see what

to eat first and it started breathing and then it jumped off my plate

     and ran around and I started chasing it around the yard.

So there it is.  Not sure what else to say after that.  I'm just as "huh" as you are. 

Your Mom

One day a few months ago I was talking to a woman at work. She asked a question or something, but somehow the conversation lent itself perfectly to an interjection of "Your mom". Only immediately after I said it I realized it was not a well thought reply for many reasons. One there is a generational gap, I'm not even sure she is aware of that phrase in any way. Two, she is over sixty five and the odds that her mother is still alive is not so great. So then I thought, what if she is really sad about her mother not being alive, or what if she didn't even like her mom and feels badly that she isn't sad her mom is not alive. And then I realized that the opportunity to interject "Your mom" into any of my conversations has long since passed. I instantly became the female version of Michael Scott and "That's what she said.", which needless to say made me die a little inside. So I admonish anyone who is reading this to remember that with age comes the responsibility to modify our colloquial speech. Much the same way our clothing styles should accurately portray or age. This is also to nicely inform anyone who is forty one wearing pigtails. Sorry, it just isn't working for you.

Flashback

Last Thursday I had the opportunity to go to a ladies small group held at my friend Jill’s house. I was pretty excited because I'd heard a lot about it. One really nice thing about my job is that the 16th of April is like a holiday for us and we have the day off. So, with my holiday I decided to put a face to some names.

We were studying Paul’s analogy of running a race, of counting all things as loss, and of being partakers in Christ’s suffering. As you can imagine with many different personalities, life experiences, and levels of understanding of what it is to know Christ, we had a lot of discussion. I was able to watch as one woman, who is not completely convinced of Christ’s completeness for salvation, began to have the layers of doubt removed. I saw the look on Jill’s face as some questions were asked and answers given, that this was a step forward. It is so great to see God working in someone else’s life.

A woman who has been a Christian for a few years asked how she could show her kids who Christ is in a way they can understand and want to know Him. Some offered examples from how they raised their children. But prayer really accounted for most of the advice, understandably so.

I thought of my own upbringing. We didn't have any special time of day to sit and read the Bible, or even family devotions that I remember. We did have two parents who taught us right from wrong and a responsibility to the Creator. Everyday situations became lessons in life and what God expects from us. With five children there were plenty of opportunities to learn forgiveness, sharing, thoughtfulness, the importance of being truthful, and on and on, you get the picture. More than this, I saw my parents live their faith.

I remember my mother hosting a Bible study at our house when I was little. All the little ones would be asked to play in the other room and we were only to interrupt for emergencies. When things would start to come to a close, I would walk into the room and would see the pastry of the day partially eaten, lipstick marks on the coffee cups, and a strange aroma comprised of dessert, coffee, perfume, and gum. I could never understand why my mom would invite those people to our house to read the Bible. It all seemed so completely boring to me at the time.

Fast forward twenty some years ahead and now I was one of these women invading someone else’s house, drinking their coffee, eating their pastry, and annoying their children. I am excited for Jill and for all the women there that they have begun to be the example they so badly want to be. It is nice to know that the woman who wanted to know how to show her children the way to Christ had already begun to do so.

I’m thankful for my own upbringing and how truly blessed I am for it. I don’t mean to put a Norman Rockwell point of view on my family. I had some friends say that I make it sound like my family never fights or has disagreements. I laughed because I had no idea I do that. And no, my family is not perfect by any stretch of the imagination. We are fallen sinners and we get on each other’s last nerve. But, we are forgiven fallen sinners that get on each other’s last nerve, and that makes all the difference.

A Walk To Remember

As long as I can remember I have loved listening to stories from older people.  I don't know if it is part of imagining how the world was before I was a part of it, or picturing them as young people, but I love it.  Tonight I had the opportunity to listen to my Nana tell stories.  My sister Jen and I were visiting and she loves to talk as all of us girls in our family do.  She spoke of growing up in Emmaus, how her family would get four quarts of ice cream for a dollar at the corner store, and raising chickens in the back yard.  She remembered helping her family work at the garage they owned and spoke of eating potatoes of some fashion for dinner most nights during the depression.  She recounted stories of her and my grandfather during their courtship and how she was sent for to come home after she missed her ten o'clock curfew when she was engaged and at a family party at my grandfather's house.  She became teary eyed when she spoke of how she was reared with a firm hand by her father contrasted with the nurture and meekness of her mother.  She told us of how my grandfather would walk from the 8th Street bridge in Allentown to Chestnut Street in Emmaus to visit her when they were dating.  And that is where my thoughts dwell tonight.  I looked on google maps and entered in his starting location and finish point and asked for the distance by walking.  It is 4.8 miles and they estimate it would take and hour and 38 minutes.  I like to take walks myself.  I pray sometimes when I walk and run the gamut from family to friends, to issues in my life, to hopes for the future that I ask God's leading and guidance, and patience.  I can imagine my grandfather walking the nearly five miles getting more and more excited to see my Nana with each step.  I wonder if he jogged a bit, or just walked briskly, or took a stroll and prayed.  Knowing him, I can bet that at least part of the walk was filled with songs he would sing, as I find myself doing.  I wonder if the three children he would have with the woman he went to meet had ever crossed his mind.  Or if he could have possibly imagined the wonderfulness of his ninth grandchild :) To think of my grandfather, a young man of twenty or so walking to meet his sweetie is just such a wonderful image for me.  I dare say most men today would say that the girl is not worth it if they had to walk nearly five miles one way to see them.   I love that now, all these years later my Nana has that memory of her boyfriend coming to see her.  And I love how God knew the end from the beginning and all that would transpire in between.  And I love what an encouragement it is for me on my journey to know that whatever part of the spectrum I am on it is all as it should be.  Because even though he walked alone, the only thing more constant than the woman he walked to meet was the One with whom he walked.