Chillax

The past month has been nutsy koo koo.  Yes, I know it goes without saying.  Almost an understatement really.  I think I felt even more stressed than usual for this time of year due to my wisdom teeth coming out on the 10th of December.  I thought I'd have them out and be at work two days later.  Ha, I laugh in the face of such ridiculous assumptions.  It wasn't until the next week I would return to work physically and then a week after that my brain decided to join me for which I am extremely grateful.  So, I was playing catch up with a lot of things at work.  It seemed the more I tried to work faster, the longer it took.  That is just work.  There is so much more that goes on this time of year.  Of course there are parties at work, gift exchanges, music practices, running around after work looking for gifts.  Oh, I forget so and so, I should get one more thing for what'sherhead so it looks even when they open the gifts, yada, yada, yada, who cares! Every year I tell myself to not get caught up in the over commercialization of the Christmas Holiday, and every year it sneaks into my mind and heart, and I can't stand it.  I spend so much time doing errands that I forget what the time is suppose to be.  Spending quality time with friends and family, thinking about the greatest gift we were given.  Last year my friend Christine and I drove around the greater Mertztown area to look at Christmas lights.  Her daughter was in the back, and probably slept most of the time.  Basically, we drive around and make fun of the tacky decorations.  Some people seriously need a twelve step program for plastic lawn santa addiction.  We do also comment on how beautiful some of the houses are decorated, but I have to say, I love to make fun of ugly decorations.  Yes, I know, you should pray for me, so get to it.  Well, this year, I almost canceled because I just didn't feel I had the time.  But, I had postponed the outing once due to my wisdom teeth and I didn't want to disappoint.  So, very kindly, Christine had me over for dinner with her husband Rob and daughter Gwen.  Earlier that day they had been to a funeral for a young man who had been in the youth group when they were leaders.  Though the conversation was not dominated by this topic, it was visited with sadness.  Our thoughts went to his family.  Our hearts grew heavy as we thought of Christmas to be a reminder in years to come of such sadness.  It hit me, as much as I needed to take a break and just have fun with a friend, she needed me to encourage her through this difficult time.  Not that she asked for me to say words of wisdom or that I even said anything, just to be there.  To spend time.  Time is an asset that we too often misuse.  I had been spending it on all the wrong things.  I'm glad I was able to get my priorities straight, if even just for a little while.  We got in the car and drove around Allentown and Bethlehem, and I have to say, we did make fun of some pretty heinously kitchy decorations.  But a lot of them were really beautiful.  We drove around talking, trying to hear each other over the very impressive pulmonary power of a toddler.  At one point I turned and asked Gwen if she was aware I was trying to tell a story.  I'm glad Christine realizes I am joking and she doesn't take offense to my otherwise insensitive comments.  I had a blast just taking the time to drive around, see Christmas lights, listen to music, and talk with a friend.  That is the gift I want to give more often.  That is when I feel like Christmas is Christmas like when you are a little kid.  So thank you Christine for being my co-star in our own little portrayal of It's A Wonderful Life.  Because really when we stop to think about things that matter, people are at the top of the list.  And in a year when I cannot remember what I got for anyone, I'll remember time spent with friends and family.  Of course once I left Allentown I spent the next hour and half shopping and then wrapped gifts until 1:00 am, but hey, I'm a work in progress.           

His Mother's Sister

This time of year I naturally think of the very first Christmas. I try to imagine what it would be like to get a visit from an angel, find out I'm pregnant, almost lose my fiance' and then have to travel far from home and give birth in a barn. Doesn't sound too fun. The focus many times is on Mary and it makes sense. I'm singing Breath of Heaven with two friends tomorrow night and the lyrics very much take us inside Mary's mind and how she may have felt. I'm glad that we now have some songs that talk about Joseph and the thoughts that must have been going through his mind. But this weekend I found myself wondering about Jesus' extended family. My niece McKenna turned one on the 21st. She is a bucket of fun for sure. She has a thousand expressions and each one of them priceless. I find myself watching her, just being herself and loving her more and more because of it. So Sunday was a big day, not only was she turning one with a big party, but she was also dedicated in church. We braved the icy conditions to watch my sister and brother-in-law promise to raise her in faith. Their prayer and the prayer of all of us, is that she come to know Christ as her savior. I had the rare pleasure of staying at my sister's house all weekend. I had a company Christmas party in the area Friday night and then stayed to help with decorations or whatever needed to be done. Saturday was my time to keep McKenna occupied. We had a lot of fun together. I kind of felt badly that Janelle and Brad were running around, cooking, fixing things, and I'm watching some imagination show with McKenna. But being a fantastic Aunt has it's price and I was willing to make the sacrifice. When it was time for McKenna's bottle I was told that she would probably fall asleep and I was glad because she is so active I don't get to hold her much. So, true to fashion, she sucked the bottle dry and fell asleep. I sat there and watched her for a while. Peaceful, still, quiet. I became tired myself and settled into the comfy chair. I closed my eyes and began to pray. I thanked the Lord for McKenna, what she means to me already in her short life so far. I praised God for his blessing, for her parents wanting to show her what it means to be a Christian. I prayed that she would someday come to know Jesus as her own. I prayed that she would be kept from harm, danger, terrible things too many in this world have seen. I prayed that when she faces rejection or disappointment she would always come back to the Throne of Grace for comfort. As I sat there holding her I began to cry. I realized it is because I love her so much. I realized it was because she would face rejection, disappointment, and there is no guarantee of her safety. It hit me how much is in the hands of God. How we must trust Him regardless of circumstance. I love each one of my nieces and nephews as much as I humanly know how. And knowing that it cannot possibly be as much as their respective parents love them is truly amazing to me. So all of those feelings I was feeling I imagine would be magnified exponentially. Still I do not discredit my love for this little one. So I began to wonder if Jesus had any aunts. I did some searching on the Internet and found John 19:25 "Now standing beside Jesus’ cross were his mother, his mother’s sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene." How many times I must have read this verse or heard in in an Easter message and never realized He had an Aunt. I don't know much more about her, but I know she was at the cross when he died. And as much as I always thought about Mary and how terrible it must have been to witness her son's death. I can relate to His mother's sister. I wonder how much fun she had with Him when he was a boy. If she tried to hang him upside down and kiss his forehead only to be told, please don't do that. I wonder if she was sad when she had to go home because she just wanted to stay and watch Him play. I wonder if she ever held him while he slept and prayed for Him. I wonder if she was there when he was dedicated in the temple and saw Anna prophesy over him and Simeon praise the Lord for seeing the face of His redemption. And I wonder if she pondered those things in her heart as well. I have a deeper appreciation for this woman because I am her mother's sister.

Time Time Time, What's Become of Me?

Last Friday marked the one year anniversary of my grandfather's death. Leading up to Friday, some of us in my family would remark on how it is almost a year already, or can you believe it is almost a year. It is strange. The year goes so quickly and yet it seems as though it was longer than that in some regards. Time is a funny thing. Sometimes five minutes seem like and eternity and then fifteen can go by in a second. It made me think how I still measure time and my Pop-Pop doesn't. I thought of a service at Pinebrook about twenty years ago. We sang "Every Day With Jesus, Is Sweeter Than The Day Before". As is the custom at some hymn sings the song leader asked for testimonies. He asked if anyone could agree with the song, any true life stories. My grandfather stood up and said he had been a Christian for over fifty years and every day with Jesus is sweeter than the day before. I'm ashamed to say this now, but at the time I thought it was nice, but wondered if he just said it so that the song leader would move on. I know better now, my grandfather would have just sat there and not said anything if he didn't believe it. And knowing him as I grew up, I could see that he really did believe it. Perhaps the most wonderful thing is that I can see that becoming true in my life. I look back over the year and see how sadness a year ago has been turned into rejoicing for a loved one gone home. How in years past I've seen God provide in ways I could never have imagined. How it is Him and me for life. What better gift could I be given in this life. And while my sweeter than the day before is still going on, my grandfather is in the sweet by an by. I cannot imagine what it will be like to not look forward to anything. I look forward to family gatherings, holidays, bonuses, all sorts of things. But to finally be perfectly content in Heaven will be a feeling never experienced on earth. It doesn't get any better than Heaven. I just think that is a really wonderful thought.

Sometimes I Am Not Very Thankful

Today I had to go to the bank for work and then I decided to go to the grocery store right next to it and get my lunch and a few things for our Mexican Thanksgiving tomorrow. Of course the car in front of me must have been waiting for their money to be wired from Switzerland because they took forever and a day. I finally finish with the bank and go to the store. I grab this grab that, oh excuse me, this and that, move it lady, shut up kid, you know all the things that always happen, but are heightened because of my lack of time. I get to my salad bar that I always get at the grocery store. I love it. Cheap, healthy, quick. Not today, instead of beautiful sliced colorful peppers and an array of assorted lettuce, there were pre-packaged fruit and veggie trays. Not one piece of cut lettuce to be found. I looked at the hot bar, no gracias. I looked at the ready made sandwiches and chose turkey and swiss, not what I wanted, but it would have to do. I finished the rest of my running around like a headless chicken routine, paid and said a not too heartfelt Happy Thanksgiving to the cashier and the bell ringer, got back here and complained that the salad bar was not out today. I said that I should be "thankful" (sad to say, I actually did the air quote thing) because that is the reason for this season. I sat down to eat it and thought, no dumb head, you should be thankful because it is there. You have a meal, how many people in this world don't? Did I have to pick the bugs off of it? Did I have to cut off the moldy part off any one of the components to the sandwich? Did I have to buy it? Was I guaranteed the money to be able to buy it in the first place? Not the best start to the Holiday season, but I hope it has kicked me in the rear enough to realize what is important, and to find that in everything I should give thanks.

There's Always A Catch 97

I heard the funniest thing yesterday. My grandmother told me she saw two ten dollar coupons for a store in the paper. They were good for anything ten dollars or more. She is a coupon junkie, so naturally, she went. And though she has gotten money back from coupons at times she was hoping to come out pretty even. She told me of her struggle to find something that was over ten without being too much over, but she found slippers that were 10.97. When she got to the cashier she was told that she could not use the coupon. In the fine print it said it was not good on anything ending in a 97. I had to take a minute and let that sink in. I started laughing. Probably harder than she thought was warrented, but it just struck me so funny how we like to pull everyone in with a free ten dollars and then say, oh, sorry, there is a catch. You can't use it on your birthday, if you had cereal for breakfast, your last name starts with a Y, you are an only child, know an only child, have ever eaten a chili dog, or if you can sit throught the entire song of K.C. and The Sunshine Band's, "Shake Your Booty". Seriously, if something is given, shouldn't it be given. I know some who are not Christians may look at the Christian life this way. You are "free" but you can't do this, this, and this. I'm just so glad that it really isn't like that. Because unlike the coupon in the paper. The headline the world wants you to read is the list of things we should not do. The fine print however is so wonderful. It says, no you shouldn't do them because now you are free. Now you are no longer a slave to sin, but a servant to righteousness. I have the ability to do all the things I should not. The key is to live my life as much a sacrifice of thanksgiving to God for the free gift of salvation, with no fine print, that I don't want to do any of those things. But the most wonderful thing is that there is always grace. Grace that when I do mess up, I am loved as much that day as I was when He thought of me as He gave himself for me. No catch anything there!

Wonder of Wonders, Miracle of Miracles

Last night I was able to accomplish something I had not been able to do in all my 30 years on this planet. I was able to visit my Nana without eating ice cream. I know those of you who do not know my Nana are thinking, really, that is a big wonder, some fantastic miracle? And those of you who know my Nana or have her as your Nana will be calling me for my secret. Nana, Nana. Just thought I'd write it a few more times. But to sum it up best, I just never gave up hope. She is the funniest woman in the world. Not that she is telling jokes and wanting to make you laugh, she just is funny. As long as I can remember, there has always been ice cream in her freezer. You go and visit, you may get away with it for a while, but eventually, she will say, "How about some ice cream." To which, you could reply any number of things, but the result will be you eating more than you had planned. I remember talking to my friend at work and telling her that I cannot say "no" to my Nana. She said, "You are an adult, that is rediculous!" To which I responded, you just don't know my Nana. She just wants to make sure you have had enough to eat. When I call and ask to come and visit, she says sure, and the next thing out of her mouth is what she can offer me for dinner. And if it would happen to be soup, or grilled cheese, or cereal, well she apologizes and says it will hold you until you eat right. Which when my grandfather said it, was a joke, but she is being serious. Saturday I had been there and brought her a small loaf of banana bread my mother had made for her. She saved some of it for yesterday. If you have had my mother's banana bread you know the discipline not to eat it all in one sitting let alone save it for a possible guest four days later. She offered it to me which I could not say no to because she had saved it for me. You see, she is thoughtful to the point that it makes you feel guilty if you refuse it. And so while her ice cream just sat in the freezer, the banana bread was a different story. She told me that when I left Saturday she felt badly that she did not offer me the banana bread that night. I said Nana it is for you, don't worry, I never leave here hungry. Full and a little queezy sometimes, but never hungry. She said I always think of what else I could have offered, I just don't think of it at the time and then I feel badly. And that is when it hit me. The devil is a big freakin' jerk. Here is my Nana, she is going to be 87 next month. She has raised three children, helped nuture ten grandchildren and twelve great-grandchildren, tirelessly cared for her ailing husband, and still she has insecurities about not doing or giving enough. She does too much really. One time I was over and she offered me a peach, I started to peel it and she was so upset she didn't do it for me. I said, I can do it, it is no problem. Well, you who know her, know she peeled it. The woman has arthritis, she has a shoulder out of socket, and has osteoporosis, but she does everything she possibly can. But Satan knows our weaknesses and he digs in deep. I know I have conversations with myself after parties or discussions or small group wondering if that was taken the wrong way, "I hope they didn't think I meant that!" Or my mom who is fantastic at menus and baking and getting things together for pot lucks and banguets. She is mulling over menus for weeks, trying things out, then once the occasion is here she hopes the people enjoy it and wants to know if everyone liked it. The answer is always yes. Still we wonder, we worry, we become second guessers. I think maybe too we worry about what people think of us too much.

Oprah speaks of hyperbole

I watched a clip of Oprah being interviewed last Tuesday as the nation voted in our 44th president. The results were not even in yet and the interviewer posed the question. What does this night mean for you. Oprah said there are not even words to talk about what the night means for her. She said that the word historic keeps being said, but that there has never been a night like this on the planet earth. Nothing can compare to this. I understand her sentiment and get the reference to the first black president of the United States. In no way am I diminishing the acheivement of overcoming racism to reach the highest office in the nation. I do find it a rediculous statement to say there has never been a night like this in the history of the earth. The reason being it places so much importance on ourselves. We become the qualifying ingredient for the greatness of the moment. Would the moment be any less great if she were not there? Or if she were white? It isn't about Oprah bashing, it is about how we have all become egocentric. So we could all agree that the earth is not the center of the universe, but we've begun to think even smaller than that, we now think we are.